TV recaps, Entertainment, & Pop Culture
Bonjour Bachelor Nation! It's week 100 and we're finally getting somewhere in terms of getting out of the United States and to a more lavish, luxurious trip. And where better to take some thirsty girls who want Instagram sponsorships more than Arie JR's love? PARIS, the city of love!
We start off the night with Krystal just killing our ear drums with her voice; can she go away already? We all hate her and I'm pretty sure Arie hates her too.
Mr. Harrison reveals to the girls and us viewers aka slaves to the Bachelor franchise, that there will be the first 2-on-1 date and Krystal automatically assumes she will be on it because no one is on her level - her words, not mine. I dam well hope she is on that date so she can go home.
Lauren B gets the one-on-one and Arie is kind of bored with her. Now he knows how we feel! He says that she's a little quiet but he's attracted to her and wants it to work. Their nighttime dinner goes a little better and they're more talktive but they were walking in silence before so it was very odd.
Arie just releaved that he knocked up an ex girlfriend and she lost the baby and then she broke up with him. Was this public knowledge? Did he just drop a bomb on all of America? I am SHOOK.
Lauren B tells Arie that she is very guarded and she feels afraid because she doesn't think it'll be enough for him and he responds with those puppy dog eyes and says that they have time, it's their first date and he gives her the rose. Let's go Lauren B! I'm here for her!
The group date involves Moulin Rouge and a dance routine, much to Tia's dismay because she has the rhythm of an ant.
Later on at the cocktail party, Tia tells Arie how much she's falling in love with him and daydreaming about him; Bekah M tells him basically the same thing and they Arie kisses them both in the weird, awkward way that he does.
At this point, I'm not sure of the other girls names but I think we only see Sienne with Arie afterwards. Bekah M gets the rose so it doesn't really matter anyway. Of course our favorite missing 22 year old Tinkerbell looking gal gets the rose.
Now we're at the 2-on-1 and it's Krystal vs Kendall (the taxidermist and chick who eats bugs). Krystal is so full of drama and is too cocky for the Bachelor but Arie doesn't seem to be able to see through her, and it's eating us all alive.
The date takes place in some weird maze where Arie is the prize? Honestly, I'm so confused by the dates on The Bachelor franchise. It's worth mentioning that I've only been watching since Rachel's season of The Bachelorette. I watched Paradise last season but this is my first real run with The Bachelor. So far, I prefer men fighting for the affection of a lady.
Arie tells the camera that he can't be with someone like Krystal, if that's really who she is, and that this is her last chance. However, that is short lived because she sweet talks him, apologizes for her bad behavior, and they kiss & makeup. The twist is that she starts bad mouthing Kendall to Arie and for a hot second, it looks like he is not having it.
Shit talking another girl to 'her guy's' face is just cold blooded betrayal and if Arie falls for that bullshit, he's a bigger idiot than I thought.
I know this is the entire point of the show, but how do these women know they want to be with Arie for the rest of their lives when they've probably spoken to him like 5 times each???
Another twist of the night... Arie doesn't give out the rose at the end of the 2-on-1. He said he needs more time and says he'll see both Krystal and Kendall at dinner, which is where I'm hoping he sends Krystal home and puts us out of our misery.
Krystal & Kendall have some bitchy cat fight and I honestly lost braincells and have no idea what was said.
AND KENDALL GETS THE ROSE! LETS GOOOOO!! BYE BYE KRYSTAL! SEE YOU NEVER BITCH!
Truthfully, we'll probably see her on Paradise but that can wait.
The final date of the week is with Jacqueline (?). Is that her name? I don't even know. I'm hardly paying attention because I am bored to tears. He keeps going on about him and Jacqueline having different lifestyles and I have no clue what that means. Despite that, and despite Arie making us think he's going to send her home ... he gives her the rose anyway.
OK, I'm ready for the Rose Ceremony. I feel like everyone has a rose. Who the hell is going home?
*I legitmately just saw a girl on TV and said "who the hell is that". I swear some of these girls never existed.
So, everyone gets a rose besides Chelsea and the girl I didn't know, Jenna. I'm actually quite sad to see Chelsea go. She started out as the villain but Krystal stole that from her real quick. Jenna is fake crying and I'm just confused as to where she came from.
The girls and Arie are going to Tuscany next so we'll be able to see everyone pretend to speak Italian next week! Lucky us!
We think everything is over, but some blonde girl is talking smack that she doesn't know how much more she could take because watching Jacqueline with him was very hard. I think it was Lauren B but I have no idea. Anyways....
So that is it... my first Bachelor recap in the books and 2 more hours that Arie Jr. stole from me.