TV recaps, Entertainment, & Pop Culture
It’s hometown time and I could care less about this. I’m not
Kendall is the first one up and the first thing she does is take him to her taxidermy DUNGEON.
Arie cannot hide the disgust on his face, and it is just horribly disturbing. I can’t even watch this, my computer is blocking the tv screen.
Then she informs him that they are going to be MOUNTING RATS. They legit stuffed rat skin on national television and I want to die.
They proceed to have the rats kiss each other in a Paris scenic background, and kiss themselves. I want to die.
This is horrible.
Kendall reveals what we already knew, she has an identical twin and I can’t wait for more weirdness from this family.
I didn’t think anything tops Dean’s hometown date but this might do it.
Wait, I totally missed this until I saw a few people tweet it… HER SISTER’S NAME IS KYLIE. KENDALL AND KYLIE. KILL ME.
Ok, we’re at the house and the hellos are very loud. Kylie looks exactly like Kendall, I mean, they’re identical twins, but it’s scary AF. Arie lies to Kendall’s family faces and says that he thinks taxidermy is cool.
Kylie starts interrogating Arie and he says he wants a proposal at the end of this; she basically says that she doesn’t think Kendall is the right girl, that she doesn’t want to get married right now and doesn’t know if she could fall in love enough for marriage.
Now Kendall’s father is saying the same thing and that Arie doesn’t have his blessing, unless Kendall really wants it and says yes. WTF?
Kendall herself says that she’s not ready for marriage. Well, I’m sure Kendall is going home this week after this fiasco.
Kendall & Arie talk, she says that she’s falling for him but says she’s not ready.. blah blah. It’s literally Peter all over again but this time, I don’t give a FUCK about Kendall and Peter was everything and more.
It’s Tia’s turn and they’re in Weiner. She’s going on and on about how she loves Arie and I just don’t understand.
They’re racing cars and then Arie calls her the total package.
I’d be scared shitless to race a professional race car driver. This looks dangerous.
Tia is hysterical crying when she walks into her house and like why??
Arie is talking to Tia’s brother and the nickname Kissing Bandit has come back to bite him in the ass. Basically, her brother is asking if he’s a slut and how can he prove he’s not.
Tia tells her father that she really is falling for him (we know), and that he makes her feel like the only girl in the world even though that’s not true.
Tia’s father and Arie have the same conversation as her brother and he basically says that he’ll hurt him if he hurts his little girl. do people actually say that in real life? I’ve never known someone’s family member say something like that to their significant other.
Tia straight out tells Arie she loves him and I’m confused as to how she knows that when he is as exciting as a wet mop.
Becca is up now and they’re in Minnesota, at an Apple Orchard. Arie at some point is in the tree, throwing apples at her and this is so corny. I kind of want to go apple picking now though.
Arie & Becca go to her house and meet 1,000 people. Becca’s dad died from a brain tumor, and her uncles, specifically Uncle Gary, are grilling Arie hardcore. They’re Becca’s “guard dogs” which infuriates me. Are family members really this protective?? Does my family not love me? This is just getting under my skin.
They start talking about church and what Arie would do if Becca wanted to go to church… Arie says he’d go to church with her? What does this mean? I hate this show.
Becca’s mom gives Arie her blessing for him to propose to her. Interesting because I don’t feel like he did that to anyone else?
I hate the way Arie kisses, it’s horrific and almost as worst as Bryan.
He has now told all the girls he’s falling for them — I mean, I know that’s the point but still, it feels so insincere.
I am so bored. I am so uninvested in everyone on this show.
Lauren is now last and they’re riding horses on the beach. Then they’re kissing because it’s Arie and it’s all he knows how to do.
We’re with the family now, and Arie can speak Dutch. Since when?????? That made him a little more interesting.
This is very awkward, they’re all silent and Lauren’s dad is grilling him hardcore. UGH more macho male egos. Fuck this!
Arie then leaves because he is too nervous and sweating profusely. This made me chuckle.
Lauren’s aunt: “I wasn’t expecting him to like you that much” I am DEAD. That is vicious.
How does Lauren’s dad know Arie is self centered and only cares about himself? That’s kind of a brash assumption. But now her dad loves him because he said that he went over to see the troops and he flew a plane.
Lauren’s dad cheered him and you could see his eyes light up. He says that if Lauren likes Arie, so does he so I think this is fine.
Arie’s mom is not as quick to warm up to Arie; he does his best to convince her but it doesn’t seem to be working. Ultimately, she gives him her blessing because she trusts her daughter.
Lauren & Arie’s go to phrase is that they are very alike, they’re very similar in personality and I agree, they’re both very boring.
Hometowns are over and we’re at the Rose Ceremony. Arie excuses himself because he’s freaking out over sending someone home, and then asks to speak to Kendall.
There’s 20 minutes left in the episode so something has to happen…
Arie asks Kendall if she could get there, if she could get married. Kendall wasn’t expecting to have this conversation which means that she didn’t expect to get this far.
Tia, Becca, and Lauren are talking amongst themselves before Kendall comes back to join them. They keep saying how they wish they could hear what was being said, and Tia, specifically says that she thinks that the three of them makes the most sense, so now I think that Tia is going to go home.
Tia and Kendall are the last ones standing, as he already gave roses to Becca and Lauren.
HE GAVE THE ROSE TO KENDALL.
JESUS CHRIST. WHAT AN IDIOT!!!
DIDN’T HE WATCH LAST SEASON?????
I feel so bad for Tia, she’s hysterical crying, like heaving and making loud noises. That is v sad.
She’ll be the Bachelorette, don’t you worry you pretty Southern heart.
She’s asking him what she did wrong, and I am just heartbroken. I have tears in my eyes. This is the most emotion I’ve felt all season. WOW.
Arie tells her it’s nothing she did, that she’s wonderful and someone will be lucky to have her but she just doesn’t understand.
Wow, she’s really crying. This is heartbreaking, oh my God. I don’t think anyone has ever reacted this way. Tia gets in the limo and just sobs uncontrollably. Dear Lord, this is hard to watch.
I hate Arie, I hate this show. This sucks.
GOOOOODBYE EVERYONE. SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR WINTER GAMES!